Goodbyes

I am wrapping up this summer with a series of goodbyes. Goodbye to the sunny days—though they might return unexpectedly, brightening our hearts once more. Farewell to fresh produce, especially the juiciest blackberries from the farm near my house that were available throughout July and August. Saying goodbye to longer days and the chance to spend more time outdoors. A "see you soon" to the film I just finished shooting. Goodbye to dear ones, including my aunt, who unexpectedly left us at the beginning of September.

If you find goodbyes difficult, consider reframing them. I’ve never been a nostalgic person; I believe there's a time for everything. When I say goodbye, I also sense a welcoming, even if it’s a hard "see you soon." It’s a welcome to new opportunities and doors that open as others close. Then, we refresh, restart, or continue from where we left off. Say goodbye and, right after, welcome!

Welcome to the life that continues, to the cycle that begins anew, and to the ongoing journey. Goodbyes are important—they teach us this lesson. And if you need to cry, do it! Let your soul and heart be cleansed and open them to new welcomes. Let them come!

Just for Today

Happiness is all that we take with us. This small excerpt from the song "Bem-Te-Vi," composed by my aunt Lucina, her partner Lulli, and my father, Mário Avellar, has always struck a chord with me. Happiness is all that we take from this life. Whether destiny knocks on the door or sneaks up on us, as it did to me two years ago when I received the diagnosis of an aggressive breast cancer, this phrase reminds me again that sorrows, disappointments, and angers pale in comparison to moments of pure happiness.

But this topic also makes me ponder the finitude of life. In advance, I apologize for broaching this subject again. Aging, time, death. There's actually a subject that the majority of the world's population avoids talking about at all costs, but that everyone, without exception, regardless of social class, gender, favorite team, or zodiac sign, will experience: death. The so-called "grim reaper" seems distant before turning 50. At least it was for me. As I approach the halfway mark of my existence, with less than three years to go, and after experiencing the scare of cancer, it's something I constantly grapple with.

This reminder of death has two paths. Depression, being the first. Thinking that I have less time to accomplish things I haven't even started yet. That my body seems unable to keep up with my mind anymore. And even my mind is showing signs of weariness. Depressing. The other side is precisely the happiness side. Quite ambiguous, I know. This other path is exactly the opposite of the former. This is where thoughts of still having about 50 years to build everything I haven't started yet come in. That everything I've done for my body and mind in these past 47 years is paying off since I'm aging well. That the eagerness to learn more and more keeps me alive and vibrant.

Let's do this. Following the AA principles and affirming that "just for today" I'll choose the path of happiness. Tomorrow we'll reaffirm, and so on every day, grateful for the experience gained, for the years lived, and for many more to come. Just for today, I choose happiness.

Have you ever been a translator for a Krishna-core band? I have!

The other day, I received an email from Hotmail (yes, I still have a Hotmail account that will turn 30 years old in 1995), containing some photos from years ago. One of them shows me at a kart racing club in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, closing the tour of the American Punk-Rock band, or more precisely, Krishna-Core, with Hinduism-related oriental influences.

The Shelter band first visited Brazil in 1997 on a tour lasting about 15 days, covering cities such as Salvador, Rio de Janeiro, Porto Alegre, Curitiba, Sao Paulo, Santos, and Belo Horizonte. At the age of 19, I was the band's official translator, thanks to an invitation from dear Cacá Prates, a friend of my dad's with many rock and roll road stories to share.

According to my sister Mariana, I am a bit like Forrest Gump. I've had so many interesting and crazy experiences in my life, but I think this one ranks in the top 5 of the "Best Moments of My Life" parade. Not only because I traveled around Brazil on a tour when the band exploded on MTV, but also because of the spiritual and literally transcendental experience I had at the band's first press conference in Rio, held at a Hindu temple in the heart of Rio's largest city forest. This experience was a mixture of joy and gratitude that I had never witnessed before. After dancing to the Hare Krishna rhythm, I felt as if I had left my body and floated through the hall as if I had three days to sing and dance. Upon returning to my physical body, I found myself in tears along with my dad and the temple manager. No, there were no drinks or drugs involved. It was pure ecstasy and the power of music itself.

That was just the first day of this incredible experience, filled with other moments on the rock and roll road – in this case, in airplanes. João Gordo (the lead singer of a well-known punk rock band in Brazil) laughed at me because the Shelter's singer asked me to translate a speech against violence during the concert in Santos, resulting in me receiving a spit from an outraged fan. We visited Hare Krishna temples in each city and sampled their delicious food. I formed a dear friendship with the bass player, who loved listening to cassette tapes of Brazilian rock bands he received from his fans and who was just as afraid of planes as I was. I almost missed the bus with the band once because the security guard mistook me for a fan. I shared many laughs with dear Silvia (RIP). I enjoyed having hotel rooms all to myself. And yes, I even had some quarrels with the lead singer (yes, the guy above, with whom we took this picture after one of those quarrels).

Thank you, my old friend, Hotmail, for reminding me. Thank you, life, for these moments. Another one checked off the list, and another Forrest Gumpian story to tell.