Your Home

The house you choose also reveals who you’ve finally decided to become. It’s only been two weeks since we moved, after ten years living in the same house. We did a major downsizing: we left a five-bedroom home with a huge kitchen and an equally large living room for a house with three small bedrooms, and a kitchen and living area that don’t even add up to a third of the previous one.

In exchange, we now have a backyard as big as Herkey’s immeasurable joy — he runs every single day chasing squirrels and rabbits, the habités of the place. And yes, this time the yard has a fence.

I’ve talked to countless people about moving, and 99% agree: moving is not for the weak. It’s one problem after another — whether it’s a rental or a house you bought, with renovations or without. Endless boxes. Endless decisions. It feels like stepping into a loop of projects waiting to be done. A little paint touch-up here, a frame you want to hang, wallpaper you suddenly decide to add. And then there’s the décor.

What made sense in one space suddenly doesn’t in the next. You swap things out, throw things away, rearrange everything. And you live inside this organized chaos, in a constant urge to fix just a little more each day.

But something even more interesting occurred to me.

Unlike the first house and the context I was in — newly immigrated, newly married, trying to understand myself in a life that suddenly included four children in the house nearly 100% of the time, children who were not mine nor part of my previous reality — and living in a space where I was both home and working remotely at the same time.

For a long time, I put aside the decoration — and my own need to make that house feel like me.

It took years before I added a single element that truly reflected my personality. Slowly, I began creating an atmosphere that felt more like mine — more color, more meaningful objects, bringing in pieces of my culture and creativity.

The truth is, the house didn’t reflect me. Most of the items were there for practicality, to create a sense of home — but not as an extension of who I was.

It was only ten years later that I dared to add colors and objects that screamed my name. That happened about a year ago, and it triggered an internal avalanche. The outside started reflecting what was shifting within.

I could no longer stay in a place where I couldn’t express myself. I simply couldn’t.

Even the process of searching for a new house went through what I call my “Rita filter.” I wanted to find a place that at least held the foundation of what I consider essential for my life structure.

That’s exactly what happened with this new space. Even though it’s much smaller, it mirrors my inner world at this moment of profound change.

Almost 50 years old. A career shift. A body shift. A mindset shift…

So much change that, despite all the stress that comes with moving, I never get tired of looking at each little corner I’m still arranging, decorating, and admiring day after day.

Se você quiser, posso fazer uma versão levemente mais curta para Instagram ou uma mais literária ainda — porque esse texto tem força de newsletter poderosa. 💛