Around noon, he approaches me as if he's announced, 'It's time for my nap.' Starting from this hour, after a burst of extra energy, he gradually calms down. Then, I cradle him in my arms like a baby and make my way to the kitchen, where his crate sits nearby. I retrieve his brush. On my lap, he relaxes even more, exhaling in a way that's amusing and brimming with tenderness. He closes his eyes as soon as I begin brushing his soft coat, tilting his neck for me to continue. It's a daily ritual that lulls him into a deep sleep within minutes. In these moments, his body rests beside mine, and I can feel the gentle rhythm of his heart against my chest. Even though we don't belong to the same animal kingdom, I am absolutely certain that he is my son.
Hercules, affectionately known as Herkey, among other nicknames that I've bestowed upon him, is a Shichon mutt. Here in the United States, this Shih Tzu and Bichon Frise mix is referred to as a 'Teddy Bear,' and rightly so, given its sheer adorableness.
In 2007, I penned a reflection on a profound question: 'Do you know all the ways to love?' (here is the link in Portuguese) In that piece, I shared my brief experience of caring for a dog for two weeks. As I mentioned in the text, I had never before encountered a furry companion in my entire life. Their licks and exuberant leaps of joy onto me were synonymous with 'Help, someone rescue me, get this little rascal away from me!' But at the ripe age of 42, almost 43, I welcomed my first canine companion into my home, and it transformed my understanding of love, even more profoundly than in 2007.
The idea of having a dog wasn't originally mine. Since getting married and relocating to North America, my stepchildren had been lobbying for a dog, especially the youngest. However, our home had an open backyard, no fences, and we were renting. So, how could we have a dog when I was 80% allergic, and winter was looming? Dogs were out of the question, or so I thought!
Yet, as time went on, my stepdaughter's persistence became a family crusade, with even my husband joining the 'Let's get a dog' team. But guess who had the final say? Me!
Allergies, our home, patience, and the biggest concern of all – the responsibility of caring for a furry companion. For me, these were all obstacles. For each one, my stepdaughter had a solution. She even created a manifesto, pledging 100% responsibility for feeding, walking, bathing, playing, and more.
I was skeptical about the 100% responsibility claim. I knew it would ultimately fall to me since I worked, cooked, managed the house meticulously, and loathed mess. A dog would surely disrupt my routine. But eventually, I relented.
We traveled two hours away to bring Herkey home. He was incredibly fluffy, and according to Google, this Shichon mix was hypoallergenic. The decision was clear – we chose the teddy bear. However, he had been living with other Shichons for three months and had a distinct 'eau de pee,' and dog urine is like kryptonite to those with allergies. Two hours into our journey back, I had to stop to buy allergy medication, as I was already sneezing, my eyes were watering, and I had hives on my neck. But beyond the allergies, something strange happened – I developed an unconditional love for this little guy who smelled like urine.
As Herkey acclimated to our home, my allergies worsened. We were both adjusting. Curiously, he had allergies too. Life's peculiar connections, right? Who ended up spending the most time with him? Me. The '100% responsibility' was practically transferred to me. Well, let's be fair, it was more like 80%. The rest of the tasks, such as taking him for walks and cleaning up after him, were reluctantly divided among the children with threats like 'Didn't you want a dog?' Eventually, my husband also shared a portion of the care duties with Herkey.
Amidst all this adjustment, particularly the allergy issue that seemed to be subsiding, the COVID-19 pandemic struck. This meant that not only was I already at home more than anyone else, but now the house was consistently full. And guess who reveled in this new arrangement? Herkey, of course!
Our bond with Herkey deepened, and the love that gradually grew not only helped alleviate my allergies but also made me a softer, more compassionate person. I can no longer read stories about abused dogs, those without limbs, or those abandoned to cry their hearts out without shedding liters of tears myself.
No, I wasn't always like this. It's not that I was insensitive, but I couldn't fully comprehend the depth of love for animals. I used to judge those who shared photos of their dogs on social networks or bought numerous toys for their four-legged companions. Today, I find myself doing the same, perhaps even more than before, and feeling a pang of sorrow when I have to leave my dog at a boarding kennel for nearly a week. I end up calling every single day, earning the title of a 'helicopter dog parent,' but I don't mind what others think about my canine indulgence.
It's our noontime ritual, those moments that fill me with love and joy. These are the times when I'm engrossed in work, and he comes seeking affection, melting my heart. Do I know all the ways to love? Perhaps not. But this love, oh, this love, it transforms.