A Dive Within Ourselves

In times of extremes, when external opinions hold so much power, why not focus on getting to know ourselves better? I have the feeling that the more I understand myself—my desires, needs, past, fears, and anxieties—the more connected I become to what truly matters, even as the chaos rages on outside.

No, this is not about escaping unpleasant situations or opposing opinions, but rather about building a strong shield to protect my essence. When you dive deep into yourself, there is no room for doubt about who you truly are.

The journey toward authenticity is a process. A process that can be long, challenging, and sometimes even painful, but I see no other way to live than by facing it head-on, being fully yourself—from the tip of your hair to the tip of your toes.

Being true to yourself and embracing who you are is so difficult for some that they reach the end of their lives without ever having had an honest relationship with the most important person in their journey: themselves. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. Each person follows a unique path. The tools for this inner dive also vary. What truly matters is that once you start down the road to self-discovery, you don’t look back or get distracted by outside noise—because it will always be there.

It’s challenging, but the rewards of looking within are worth it. Take the plunge today!

Eternally an Immigrant

Sometimes I think I have a tendency to do things on autopilot, without thinking too deeply. Something perhaps a bit cold. People looking from the outside might think I dive headfirst, full of emotions, but honestly, I jump into the dark more with a “let’s just live and see what happens” attitude than with overwhelming passion. But what does that have to do with the theme of this text? Well, the fact that I’m about to celebrate 10 years of moving to another country — of immigrating — fits precisely into this category of “let’s see what happens” without overthinking. Reckless? Maybe.

My immigration wasn’t because I wanted to live in another country or because I wanted to work abroad. It wasn’t because I needed to leave a place with no opportunities, and it certainly wasn’t about seeking so-called “freedom.” I immigrated to live a love that was just beginning to bloom, to see where it would lead. And so, we return to the first paragraph. Reckless? Maybe.

I believe that when you immigrate for a reason like this, you’re left with the feeling that you’ll always be an immigrant. That my heart, my history, my culture, my roots, my language, my accent, and my soul will always belong to my home country. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve been away, what documents I have, or how much I adapt. Once an immigrant, forever an immigrant.

Yes, that's me!

With each passing year in the United States, I feel more Brazilian. And with each year here, I miss my homeland even more. I don’t want to get into the debate about which place is better. Not at all, because every country has its own issues, its little things to complain about. Oh, of course, they had to be Brazilian, American, Swedish, Jamaican, Polish, Korean... and so on.

Will this feeling of not belonging ever go away? I think probably not. And honestly, I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. I just keep moving forward, feeling like an eternal immigrant.

Have you ever been a translator for a Krishna-core band? I have!

The other day, I received an email from Hotmail (yes, I still have a Hotmail account that will turn 30 years old in 1995), containing some photos from years ago. One of them shows me at a kart racing club in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, closing the tour of the American Punk-Rock band, or more precisely, Krishna-Core, with Hinduism-related oriental influences.

The Shelter band first visited Brazil in 1997 on a tour lasting about 15 days, covering cities such as Salvador, Rio de Janeiro, Porto Alegre, Curitiba, Sao Paulo, Santos, and Belo Horizonte. At the age of 19, I was the band's official translator, thanks to an invitation from dear Cacá Prates, a friend of my dad's with many rock and roll road stories to share.

According to my sister Mariana, I am a bit like Forrest Gump. I've had so many interesting and crazy experiences in my life, but I think this one ranks in the top 5 of the "Best Moments of My Life" parade. Not only because I traveled around Brazil on a tour when the band exploded on MTV, but also because of the spiritual and literally transcendental experience I had at the band's first press conference in Rio, held at a Hindu temple in the heart of Rio's largest city forest. This experience was a mixture of joy and gratitude that I had never witnessed before. After dancing to the Hare Krishna rhythm, I felt as if I had left my body and floated through the hall as if I had three days to sing and dance. Upon returning to my physical body, I found myself in tears along with my dad and the temple manager. No, there were no drinks or drugs involved. It was pure ecstasy and the power of music itself.

That was just the first day of this incredible experience, filled with other moments on the rock and roll road – in this case, in airplanes. João Gordo (the lead singer of a well-known punk rock band in Brazil) laughed at me because the Shelter's singer asked me to translate a speech against violence during the concert in Santos, resulting in me receiving a spit from an outraged fan. We visited Hare Krishna temples in each city and sampled their delicious food. I formed a dear friendship with the bass player, who loved listening to cassette tapes of Brazilian rock bands he received from his fans and who was just as afraid of planes as I was. I almost missed the bus with the band once because the security guard mistook me for a fan. I shared many laughs with dear Silvia (RIP). I enjoyed having hotel rooms all to myself. And yes, I even had some quarrels with the lead singer (yes, the guy above, with whom we took this picture after one of those quarrels).

Thank you, my old friend, Hotmail, for reminding me. Thank you, life, for these moments. Another one checked off the list, and another Forrest Gumpian story to tell.