Or I Stop and Rest, or I Stop and Rest

⚠️ Trigger warning: This post touches on sensitive topics and may stir deep emotions. Or simply can make you think!

People who know me—those who’ve spent real time with me, my friends, family, or even anyone who’s read my birth chart—would describe me as “energetic,” “passionate,” “a hard worker.”No one close to me would ever say “calm,” “cute,” or “zen.” That’s just not me.

Patience? I've been working on it since forever. Procrastination? Not in my vocabulary. I’m a doer. Always with a new project or idea. I feel like if I don’t create, I’ll explode from excess energy.

Meditation? I like it—for 5 minutes. Yoga? Love it—as long as it’s fast-paced. That’s just my nature. Denying it doesn’t help.

On top of that, I like to control things. Not people—just me: my schedule, my health, my routine.Annoying, I know.

Now mix that: high-energy + control-freak…Add physical limitations, being 95% at home, needing help for nearly everything I usually do, for at least five weeks, plus the looming fears: “Will my skin heal? “Can I still do the reconstruction? “How long until I get back to my active life?”“When will I be able to raise my right arm again?”

Simple questions with no simple answers. And the only thing I know for sure is: I need patience. Which, of course, is the one thing I lack.

I was doing really well with this second treatment, just like I did with the first. I was even recovering fast from the one-sided mastectomy. But then my skin (thanks to previous radiation) decided not to cooperate. Two unexpected surgeries within two weeks later, and here I am… deep in “WTF is life?” mode.

Yes, I’ve had my “poor me” days—they’re mostly gone. I’ve had (and still have) sad days. But I’m managing: therapy sessions, spiritual tools, and lots of venting to my mom and Alan (thank you and sorry!).

I know that in a couple of months, I’ll read this and think, “Why was I overthinking? Everything’s fine now.”But right now, riding this bumpy road is exhausting, and my butt is tired.I want to reach the final destination—with new boobs, good news, and full independence. Is that too much to ask?

Apparently, yes. But this time, there’s no other option.

Either I stop and rest, or I stop and rest. That’s it.

It may sound silly, but I wrote myself a Post-it note that says “REST” and stuck it to my laptop.I even set daily timers to remind me of this incredibly hard task: just relax. Ommmm.

How Exercise Can Help Fight Cancer – The Science Explained

Let's talk about exercise. Since beginning my second cancer treatment, I've been sharing my daily workouts—not just for self-accountability, but to motivate others, especially fellow cancer patients. Physical activity is crucial at every stage of cancer: pre-treatment, during treatment, and post-treatment. It also plays a significant role in prevention. During my 2022 treatment, my oncology team emphasized exercising five times a week, even during treatment. I followed this advice, but I wonder how many patients truly understand its importance.​

Recently, I came across a newsletter from Dr. Rhonda Patrick featuring an interview with Dr. Kerry Courneya, a leading expert in exercise oncology. Their discussion shed light on the profound impact of exercise on cancer prevention and treatment. For those currently battling cancer or supporting someone who is, this information is invaluable.​  

I highly recommend watching it, but for now, here are some key takeaways from their conversation:

1. Cancer Can Affect Anyone: Dr. Courneya highlights that cancer can develop even in individuals without genetic predispositions or known risk factors. This resonates with my experience—despite leading a healthy lifestyle with no genetic markers, I still faced cancer.​

   
   

2. Optimal Exercise Recommendations: Engaging in 150 to 300 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise weekly is associated with significant health benefits. This aligns with general guidelines for overall health and cancer prevention.​

   
   

3. Exercise Enhances Treatment Resilience: Regular physical activity can improve patients' ability to tolerate cancer treatments, potentially reducing side effects and enhancing overall well-being.​

   
   

4. Muscle Mass Matters: Maintaining or building muscle mass is crucial, as low muscle mass has been linked to poorer cancer outcomes. Resistance training can counteract muscle wasting associated with cancer and its treatments.​

   
   

5. Structured Exercise vs. Daily Activity: While general physical activity is beneficial, structured exercise programs provide targeted benefits that everyday activities might not.​

   
   

6. Timing Exercise with Treatments: Integrating exercise into chemotherapy and immunotherapy regimens can enhance treatment efficacy and improve patient outcomes.​

   
   

7. Challenging the Rest Paradigm: Contrary to outdated beliefs, rest isn't always best. Appropriate exercise can aid recovery and improve quality of life during cancer treatment.​

   
   

8. Aerobic vs. Resistance Training: Both forms of exercise offer unique benefits. Aerobic exercise improves cardiovascular health, while resistance training is essential for maintaining muscle mass.​

   
   

9. Exercise's Role in Tumor Reduction: Physical activity may influence tumor biology, potentially aiding in tumor reduction and slowing progression.​

   
   

10. Cardio's Impact on Tumor Cells: Cardiovascular exercises might help eliminate circulating tumor cells, reducing the risk of metastasis.​

    
    

11. Variability in Exercise Response: Not all cancers respond equally to exercise, underscoring the need for personalized exercise prescriptions in oncology care.​

    
    

12. Evolving Oncologist Perspectives: The medical community increasingly recognizes exercise as a vital component of cancer treatment, reflecting a shift towards holistic patient care.​

    
    

13. Psychological Benefits: Exercise can alleviate anxiety and depression associated with cancer, offering mental health benefits alongside physical ones.​

    
    

14. Exercise Across Treatment Phases: Incorporating exercise before, during, and after treatment can enhance recovery and long-term health outcomes.​

    
    

15. Exercise as a Unique Therapy: Unlike pharmacological treatments, exercise offers a multifaceted approach, benefiting various aspects of health simultaneously.​

    
    

16. Encouraging Activity in Sedentary Patients: Tailored, realistic exercise programs can motivate even the most sedentary individuals to become active, improving their prognosis.

17. Economic Benefits: Incorporating exercise into cancer care can reduce healthcare costs by improving patient outcomes and reducing treatment-related complications.​

    
    

Stay active and stay strong!

(Co)Existing

Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2022 and now find myself undergoing treatment again for a tumor that decided to show up, I keep questioning what it means to (co)exist between joy and sorrow. We celebrate a loved one’s birthday and, the next day, cry over a devastating test result. I share that I’m feeling better and more energetic, while my dear grandmother has been in the hospital for over two months in a critical condition after being hit by a car. I laugh at my dog’s adorable antics while the world seems increasingly divided, with strange forces spreading fear and hatred.

It’s not easy.

Is it possible to split ourselves in two? One me to deal with tragedy, another to embrace joy—without one colliding with the other? Or do we simply have to coexist in this duality? That’s how I feel every day. And along with it comes a mix of guilt, perhaps? Even though I know I can’t—and shouldn’t—be responsible for healing the world’s pain, the question lingers: what can I do to help?

The other day, during an intense super power Kundalini Yoga class—where we moved our bodies frenetically for 50 minutes, full of energy and joy—the instructor invited us to chant a mantra in honor of a student’s mother who had recently passed away. She explained that this mantra could be recited for up to 17 days after someone’s passing, helping both the soul transition peacefully and bringing comfort to those left behind. So we chanted together, for the student and her mother.

When the class ended, I felt an overwhelming urge to hug her. We are not friends, barely acquaintances—I had only seen her a few times in class. And for those who know me, I’m zero hugs. I even call myself “Little T-Rex” because my arms are short, and hugging doesn’t come naturally to me. But at that moment, the gesture was beyond me. It was a necessity that came from somewhere deeper.

I walked up to her, eyes filled with tears, stretched out my tiny arms, and we shared a long embrace.

In that instant, I felt that coexistence in this paradoxical universe was possible—that joy and sorrow, in some crazy way, help each other. And so, we carry on.

How you can support me? Click on the image. :)